The number of people we intentionally and unintentionally impact on a daily basis is unfathomable, however, acknowledgment and appreciation for these experiences appeal to one of our most fundamental human demands. It subdues the notion that we are alone.
In my experiences, I barely scratch the surface in getting to know people but during my interactions, I have a problem with becoming very easily attached. I am an empath. Even the shortest glance into someone’s beautiful chaotic world and I have a hard time not developing a sense of fondness.
Some time ago, I came across a video with a Buddhist monk named Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo.
Image Credit: http://www.dakinipower.com/jetsunma-tenzin-palmo/
She explains her concept of love and discusses in the clip the differences between love and attachment, stating our problem as people is in mistaking attachment for love.
Attachment says “I love you therefore I want you to make me happy.”
Genuine Love says “I love you therefore I want you to be happy. If that includes me, great. If it doesn’t include me, I just want your happiness.”
What she suggests is that society subtly prescribes us a specific brand of love. This romantic type of love comes with many conditions of the way that it should be.
In this theoretical ideal of love, there is an expectation of constant thrill in being around a lover. Dullness and boring are never words we think of when it comes to our romantic pursuits. Instead, it is constant newness and stimulation.
The desire to be physical with one another and within constant proximity is just the beginning. Another persons’ continuous stimulation through their touch and appraisal is the only way we understand their affection to be reciprocative.
Subscriptions to this popular culture and romanticism at an early age, have led me to develop a tainted perspective. As a result, my encounters with this notion mirror the lyrics of a Chet Baker song.
I fall in love too easily, I fall in love too fast, I fall in love too terribly hard, for love to ever last.
Photo Credit: https://www.udiscovermusic.com/quizzes/chet-baker-quiz/