Loneliness

 

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Last night, I got drunk. I don’t know where the night took me. I was so faded…

I do remember feeling a sense of desolation.

It’s funny how loneliness doesn’t discriminate.

It will find you on a busy Friday night when you are out with friends but also on a idle Tuesday at work.

Loneliness creeps into your life whether you are black or white, young or old, and it finds you in the places that you never thought it could.

Despite being with the love of your life or having the warmest family, you are not immune.

No one truly is.

It creeps into your mind.

You probably have a sense of guilt for even acknowledging its existence, so you take another shot or another hit, anything to dilute it.

You want to forget it.

I don’t think you are selfish for feeling this way.

You could have everything you need in the world, financially, emotionally, aesthetically but loneliness will still find you.

In fact, sometimes, it’s worse knowing you have everything you need and still feel empty.

Like maybe you shouldn’t.

But it’s okay, I don’t think you’re wrong or crazy.

It’s the classic hedonic treadmill.

Once you have whatever it is that you want, it’s only a matter of time until you want the next thing, and the next, and the next.

It’s not just about the fancy cars, or the latest technology.

It comes with the intangible things in life.

We want what everyone else wants:

A family that loves us, friends that think we’re funny, and a job that doesn’t make us want to kill ourselves.

It seems simple enough.

So we get on the treadmill and tread on, hoping that in pursuit of these assets, we will rid ourselves of an inherently human feeling.

Whether or not you choose to think about this perceived loneliness or internalize is completely up to you.

I know plenty who prefer to ignore it.

They have everything they need, why complain if it doesn’t change the circumstances?

Meanwhile I scream out into the void;I scream out into the darkness, hoping one day that someone else will join me because after all doesn’t misery love company?

1 thought on “Loneliness

  1. “You could have everything you need in the world, financially, emotionally, aesthetically but loneliness will still find you.”

    You’re relationships you have with the ones you care about are priceless and ultimately bring happiness on it’s own — however elusive it may be. Never stop trying for loneliness is much like the shifting tides. Some days it comes in when least suspected, but it always recedes back into the ocean. Tranquility returns.

    Like

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