Find Yourself

How Technology Is Changing the Way We Love.jpgSometimes when I am “in my feelings” and I can’t seem to escape you, I convince myself that the longer and busier my day is, the easier suppressing it will be.

I’ll keep myself so occupied that I barely get a chance to be alone with my thoughts.

The thing about it is… once I have stayed up to the point of exhaustion, my unconscious mind takes over and you frequent my dreams. There’s no escaping.

I often wonder how years pass, memories fade, but the vibrancy of my reveries remain. As quickly as the visions appear, they disappear.

Reality returns and I face my day to day responsibilities. I used to think work, school, and my hectic schedule was the perfect diversion but I am starting to realize that that’s the furthest thing from the truth.

They aren’t a distraction from you. They are a distraction from myself & my tornado of a lifestyle.

My life consists of these relationships that have ultimately needed to come to an end because they were dangling by a thread of false hope.A hope I still don’t know how to let go of.

I’m the hopeless romantic with reckless abandonment issues.

Sometimes it feels like the glue is that hope that keeps my chaotic life together.

But for the other, this enduring hope is a selfish and unrelenting force that stunts and threatens their growth.

To be stuck in love indeed is a misfortune I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

There is no debate of whether or not you have a piece of me with you.

You are written in my story and that will never change.

No running, no escaping, no avoiding. As little as I want to admit, I envy the life I know you’ll have without me in it.

A sense of jealousy ensues but then it wanes and I realize that’s not what I want.

I want you to find happiness. I want you to find peace. I want you to find belonging. I want you to find yourself.

 

Image https://www.wired.com/story/wired-investigates-love-in-the-age-of-technology/

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close