80 proof

I used to be so in love with you. You made me feel like I could touch the sky. Whenever I was down, you were there to cheer me up. Whenever I had long nights and needed to blow off steam, you were there to distract me. Once I had you by my side, I knew I could go out & have a fun time. You built my confidence up. I’d see you, take you, and the next thing I knew I was on a bar top having a dance off. When you were there, I was the life of the party. You made everything easier. If I was lonely or uncomfortable, you’d help make those feelings disappear and with enough of you, I could forget about everything. I woke up with a few bruises and it didn’t bother me. Then I woke up in a different bed. Then I woke up in a bathtub. Then I woke up and my whole body hurt. I am not saying I hate you but I hate the person I am when I give you the keys and let you take the driver seat of my life. I don’t like the waves of depression and anxiety that follow our evenings. You aren’t the answer and I know that now. I wish I didn’t have to learn this way but maybe I did. You know I always loved to play with fire and it was only a matter of time before I got burned.