Heartbreaker’s Anonymous

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How many times have you been heartbroken? Ignored? Led on? Lied to? Left for someone else? Well, it’s happened to all of us and if it hasn’t happened to you, don’t fret or feel left out because it will. I am not saying this to scare you. If anything it is to prepare you. Your heart will ache the same way it does when you are waiting for the bus and the driver sees you on the corner but keeps going. At some point or another, the bus is going to pass you by. The heartbroken will cry out “woe is me” & “how dare they!”  All this,  deeply rooted in personal pain. The torment of having surrendered your heart only to have it shattered is one I’ve wallowed in. During these phases,  I have blamed the other. I have gotten upset at them. I have questioned why they couldn’t reciprocate my affections. However, after deep contemplation, I wonder if love is capable of blame. It is such a sacred thing to love and to be loved.  I don’t know where to place any fault. I am not trying to defend the cheaters or the liars that fall in love outside their partnerships. I especially disdain affairs as they are serious implications of dysfunctional communication. Instead, I want to offer testimony for the anonymous heartbreakers. I want to write something to give their feelings as much power and validation as the heartbroken. First of all, to assume that love will always be mutual or that it will always be understood is a horrible mistake. They say love is a universal language but it should be noted that it is a language with many dialects. The differences in the tones are everything. There are different meanings that are all part of an intricate dance. Each movement requires the partner to negotiate with the other. Sometimes you don’t realize your dancing to a different beat until it’s too late. I have found myself on both sides. I have been enchanted by another and was heartbroken when I realized that they didn’t feel the same way.  I have also been the heartbreaker and more than once. What I can confidently say about heartbreakers is that they are widely misunderstood. I have never intended to be heartbreaker and I never meant to make anyone fall in love with me. I don’t mean to say this to sound conceded or full of myself. I really mean it when I say, I don’t understand how it happened. We share time and space with others and how they perceive our interactions are all subjective to their lived experiences.   I think people can fall in love with anyone. All they have to do is want to. So they find that someone or something BUT it’s not an imposition that is secure. There is nothing that states that when you fall in love,  your beau will feel the same about you. There are no guarantees to anything in life really besides its impermanence but when it comes to love especially, there are no promises.  I am not discouraging people to “shoot their shot.” I guess the real delusion of grandeur is with those that think their follow-through is full proof.  When “the chase” ensues, and people assume they’re doing “everything right,”  it’s a sad case of self-righteousness. When Ego takes over, things become so jaded by rose-colored lenses that we often overlook reality with a fantasy of what we want to be true.

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